Actually it’s pronounced “oob.” Don’t worry, you get used to it. So when I was a kid I desperately wanted to be a rapper. I had decent enough lyrics for an 11-year-old, but absolutely zero flow. Whatever the opposite of flow is, that’s what I had (coagulation?) Even though my prepubescent hip-hop dreams weren’t meant to be, I learned to enjoy being the voice behind the voice. Eventually I found advertising and realized I could live as a de-facto ghostwriter for every brand I work on. Just how I like it.

After a few beers I’ll probably still freestyle battle you, though.